you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
