the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
