my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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