The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
