so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
