dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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