she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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