I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
