Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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