No period for spring break; use this wisely.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
