I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
