Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
