Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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