I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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