Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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