I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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