Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
