Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
