yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
