He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
