hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
