he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
