Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
