I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
