what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
