i may or may not be watching the land before time
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
