My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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