i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
