you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
