Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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