we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Less talking, more tequila
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
