mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
