he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
