I think I won the penis lottery.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
