i was born a porn star she said
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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