The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
