definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
