Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
