I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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