bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
