I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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