Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
