THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
