we're chasing vodka with high fives
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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