never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
