i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
