lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
