My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
