What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
