Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
